BLOG OF LISTS

Due to the tremendous feedback we got from of our Top songs of the 1990s and 1980s, we at Walrus decided to put all our lists together in one place... The categories will grow as the number of lists expand.. so keep checking in fearless readers to the most colossal of compendiums...The BLOG OF LISTS...

Please feel free to send in lists of your own to walruscomix@hotmail.com, and we will publish 'em...

5 August

Hermit's Top 5 random weird memories he just recalled this second

  1. The time a friend told him about a huge shit that he took while in rehab coming off heroin... apparently it was almost two feet in length and 5 inches thick...
  2. The time on tour when some redneck girl called our drummer a nigger... Our drummer responded by asking her to take off her shirt and show us her tits... which she did
  3. The time me and my brother ended up in a Spencer Tunick photograph... He's the guy who shoots large groups of naked people lying in public places.. We were fully clothed..
  4. The time me and my brother were enlisted off the street to model for an ad for IBM.. we played hooky from work and spent the day driving around in a van looking for a location.. finally they found one for us at some weird beach... We had to change into these completely faggotized denim outfits.. I wasn't wearing underwear.. and didn't know I'd have to change.. rather embarassing.. Anyway, they never used the photos they took... but we each got 300 bucks for our time
  5. The time right before my grandfather died that he called me cause he had taken a fall.. I was the only one around.. when I got there he was laying in the bathroom in his bathrobe... I carried him to his bed.. He was light as a feather... he said he slipped and fell.. but actually the cancer had eaten into his bones to the point that his hip just disintegrated.. I never saw him again..

 

15 July

Top 5 Biggest Dylan Rip-Offs..

  1. A Simple Desultory Philippic (Or How I Was Robert McNamara'd Into Submission) - Simon and Garfunkel
  2. Stuck in the Middle With You - Stealers Wheel
  3.  You've Got to Hide Your Love Away - The Beatles
  4. I Got You Babe - Sonny and Cher
  5. I Feel Like I'm Fixing to Die Rag - Country Joe and the Fish

 

9 July

45 things Mr. Catch 22s has never done during sex..

  1. Farted
  2. Puked
  3. Fallen asleep – though I've come close a few times.
  4. Called out someone else's name
  5. Worn any type of fetish gear
  6. Used any sort of implement of destruction i.e. whips, chains, a mace, etc..
  7. Used any sort of food in the proceedings
  8. Used any clamps of any kind
  9. Taken a shit
  10. Involved an animal
  11. Been outdoors
  12. Had any sort of conversation
  13. Stopped mid-coitus to go finish my taxes....I don't do my own taxes, that was a joke
  14. Sprayed my jizz in a champagne glass and made my partner drink it
  15. Pissed on my partner – although I may have pissed off one or two
  16. Sang
  17. Worn any make up
  18. Had just a moustache
  19. Thought of Bugs Bunny
  20. Bit someone's ear off
  21. Involved vegetables
  22. Never been on a water bed
  23. Never been on a boat
  24. Never been on a train
  25. Never been on a plane
  26. Never been in a car
  27. I do not like it on a train
  28. I do not like it on a plane
  29. I do not like it in a car
  30. Never had green eggs and ham
  31. Never used a plunger
  32. Never used a flashlight
  33. Never used glow in the dark condoms
  34. Never worn sunglasses
  35. Never worn fuzzy slippers
  36. Never been in a Jacuzzi
  37. Never jazzed in a girl's eye – on PURPOSE.... Ok.. I have jazzed in a girl's eye on purpose
  38. Never used a wiffle bat
  39. Never been in another country
  40. Canada doesn't count right?
  41. Never used any drugs of any kind
  42. Never did any auto esphyxiation
  43. Never did it on Mother's day
  44. Never did it for money ….Ok ONE time, I was broke and desperate
  45. Never did it wearing a clown nose, suspenders, a multi colored afro wig, pocket protector, and spats.….Ok ONE time, I was broke and desperate!!

 

 

7 July

Hermit's Top 5 Favourite Actors

Jimmy Stewart

1. Jimmy Stewart
Whether it's a western, a comedy, a drama or a Hitchock thriller, Stewart could do it all in his own unique style

Favourite performance: The Man Who Knew Too Much
Warren Oates

2. Waren Oates
 Greatest character actor that ever lived... There was such a sadness about him, and yet he was so fucking cool... He's THE actor for people who love film..

Favourite Performance: Two-Lane Blacktop
Jack Nicholson

3. Jack Nicholson
What can you say about Jack? He's Jack NICHOLSON.. Greatest movie star ever.. From 1970-1980, he put together the greatest string of performances ever put down by any actor..

Favourite Performance: Five Easy Pieces
Humphrey Bogart

4. Humprhrey Bogart
Greats Noir actor ever.... Casablanca, The Big Sleep, The Petrified Forest, The Maltese Falcon.. The coolest actor of his era..

Favourite Performance: Casablanca
Paul Newman

5. Paul Newman
Coolest and best looking actor ever... Always good in everything.. Got better as he got older.. He was definitely the "distinguished grey" type.. as opposed to the "balding virile" type..

Favourite Performance: Hud

 

3 July

Top 5 Most Anticlimactic moments of Mr. Catch 22s life

  1. Losing my virginity
  2. Yankees losing the 2001 world series
  3. Getting signed to a major
  4. The last time I jerked off
  5. Meeting Neil Young