29 August
Well first off my take on Obama's speech…
It was pretty decent. I thought that it was a bit on the reserved side, and perhaps a bit to laundry-listy as far as what he'd do as President. Moreover, I was struck by how little he actually spoke on how he actually was going to achieve all these goals. It instantly made me think of Bill Clinton. Whenever he would list his goals, he immediately followed up with 'and I'm gonna tell ya' how I'm going to do it'. Bill was a genius, and watching Barack made me miss those days even more. Overall though, I could see how the people that are Obama supporters have a reason. I mean, the guy just fucking looks great. He has movie star looks. If I was gonna cast someone in the role, I'd pick him. Still, this is real life, and I think that's the question most people that are on the fence are grappling with.
Is it all just show?
Now, today we hear that McCain has picked a woman for his Veep - some one term Governor of Alaska, who's on the wrong side of all issues. Still, You have to hand it to the guy, it was a genius move. It also proves that he's not just another George Bush, in the sense that he's actually reaching out to the disaffected Democrats. I think that it's a risky move which could either backfire or win him the election. Either way, it does kind of polish up that 'maverick status' which has been dulled by his kow-towing to the republican line this season.
With McCain's pick, and the spectacle of the DNC, this race has gotten even more complicated. I've never seen an election so imbued with moral, philosophical, and societal questions. They are all hard to answer, and quite frankly thinking about all of them gives me a headache.
One other thought I had about the DNC was this… If the 'unity' question is now settled by the Clinton's speeches – as pundits like Rachel Maddow have suggested – why did he pick Joe Biden? What I mean to say is, if all it took to get the Clinton's and Obama on the same page was a couple of calls, and a couple of speeches, then why could not have those calls been made earlier? I think in the end not picking Clinton for Vice President was Obama's fatal move. Still… Palin is under investigation for some dubious dealings, dangerously close to Bush tactics of getting people that he didn't like fired, so who knows what might come out of that
28 August
Democratic Convention
Day One
As I watched Michelle Obama's speech, all I could think of was the Huxtables - Cliff, Clair, Rudi and Vanessa.
I think she's a huge phony., her delivery, her demeanor, her overall vibe seemed rehearsed to death and histrionic. All those 'you sees' she threw out in front of every sentence made me want to hurl. It was all a bad TV pilot, the only thing missing was the canned laughter. Even their cutesy children made me sick. As I listened and ruminated, it just became clearer and clearer to me what this will all be about in the end. Can America deal with this new 'Cosby show', or do they want 'Murder she wrote'.
Personally, I've always loved the Cosby show. Bill Cosby reminds me of my father, I connected with him on that level. However, when the Cosby show spun off into 'a different world' that's where it lost me. 'You see', the show started off as an honest and humorous look into a family and wound up being caught up in that whole half-assed 90s/malcom x/spike lee pretension.
In other words I didn't connect with it.
'You see' that's what the American people, specifically WHITE America will have to decide, do they connect with the Obamas? To tell the truth, I don't connect with either Barack or McCain, so in my case it's about the issues, and as far as I'm concerned there just ain't no fucking way I could vote for John McCain. He's served his country and his country's served him – exceedingly. The whole 'a noun, a verb, and POW camp' doesn't wash with me. Yeah, he spent five years in a prison camp, now he's a rich fuck married to a beer heiress, I think that's more than an even trade. Hey, I spent ten years working 9-5 struggling day in and day out to keep a roof over my head, where's my relief?
It certainly won't come with another four years of George Bush policy that's for sure.
Now, as you all know, I'm a Hillary guy, to me she was the obvious choice and the fact that they didn't even vet her for the VP spot is outrageous, but they've got me in a bind because sometimes in life you've got to make decisions which may not feel right in your bones but which are necessary.
As for the rest of the opening night of the convention, I wasn't impressed. Watching Ted Kennedy sail his fat-ass around in that yacht of his, I thought to myself, 'what exactly am I supposed to be feeling right now?' This is a guy who killed a woman and got away with it and who knows how many other countless lives have been destroyed by the Kennedy clan? Fuck them, and fuck him a bunch of over privileged letches that have gotten entirely too much attention over the years.
America's royalty my ass.
He thought it was wrong to go into Iraq? No shit Sherlock. I don't give points for the obvious.
I found all the Hillary drama entertaining, but pointless. We're stuck with what we've got. I don't like it, but I have to deal… the question is, can America?
It's the Cosbys VS. the Cryptkeeper… You decide.
Day Two
Hillary made that 'all important' speech, in which she was supposed to allay all tensions and bring forth party unity. Did she accomplish the task? Hard to tell. My reaction to it only made me feel more strongly that we got the wrong candidate as our nominee. The Republicans are making big hay out of the fact that she never mentioned in the speech that she felt Barack had what it took to lead. Is this just typical Republican talking point agitation, or did she in point of fact slyly leave that bit of info out on purpose? Who knows. You can read into it as much as you want, we're still left with what we've got, and we have to make the most of it. The bottom line is that 'sitting this one out' and waiting for Clinton to make her run in 2012 makes no sense at all. Seems to me that there's a sentiment out there amongst certain Democrats that they've lasted this long under this horrible regime, another four years ain't gonna matter too much as long as they eventually get the candidate they WANT in the white house. That thinking is totally erroneous. We CANNOT have another four years of Bush policy. I really think unless we reverse course right now, we're totally fucked.
Day Three
My reaction to Bill Clinton's speech? It won't change a thing. He said what they wanted him to say, but to me it felt hollow and a tad on the tired side. All this Clinton drama is completely besides the point in the end. Biden's speech was pretty shoddy, and I was reminded again why he never was a viable candidate for the presidency, he's just not presidential. When Barack came out, it all just seemed awkward, stagey... I dunno, it all looks messy to me. I think the bottom line is really race anyway. Will America vote for a black guy? That's really all there is to it. We'll see.
21 August
Race in America
It seems lately a lot of Democrats have been starting to sweat some serious bullets over whether or not Obama will be able to pull off a victory against McCain this fall. The fact that he hasn't been able to make any sort of headway against this flip-flopping, withered crypt keeper with a 'my friends' tourettes-ian tic, has all of a sudden sent them into a nervous, defensive posture, clutching their lower stomachs in order to stave off an anxious bowel movement. Well, it's not like I didn't say 'I told you so'. As I've shouted from the rooftops for months, we are not living in some Utopian state, this is America and one thing you can never underestimate is our level of ignorance and deep seated fear of black people.
From the beginning I've said that right off the bat you'd have to remove a solid percentage of racist voters that just would never under any circumstance vote for a black guy. Now, I will speak the truth and go further… In addition to the 'obviously racist' you will have to include a lot of supposedly elevated, non-racists that are just 'uneasy' with the idea.
This cannot be ignored.
Now I know some of you will disagree with righteous vehemence, whining in your fey politically correct timbre that I don't know what I'm talking about, but you see - I actually do.
In my life I've dated about six different black women, and I can tell you in EACH relationship, I encountered again and again, OVERT racism, anger, and resentment from the general public – not to mention the negative reaction of a lot of white girlfriends I've had upon learning I've dated black chicks.
America is schizo when it comes to blacks. They love em' on the field, courts, movie screen… they love listening to their music and imitating them – in a completely nauseatingly corny fashion. It's always been this way. Still, it's a sickly love. It's a surface performing monkey kind of love, and what's at the core is shame, anxiety, anger, resentment, bitterness and most of all FEAR.
I recall being on a date with this statuesque, caramel skinned, empirically striking looking woman. We were walking down the street after seeing 'The man who walked up a hill and came down a mountain' – one of the most boring films I've ever seen in my life – when all of a sudden this seemingly normal looking white guy in his 40s got in our face with a crazed expression yelling at me 'YOU OUTTA BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!!... IT'S DISGUSTING!!!'. I was shocked – dumbfounded.
It was disgusting to go out with this nice girl of unimpeachable pulchritude?
It would be one thing if that was an isolated incident, but astonishingly enough, it was par for the course. Everytime I'd walk down the street with one of my black girlfriends, I'd get the evil eyes, whispers, and pointing – like I was the elephant man or something.
May I point out for one moment that this was in NEW YORK CITY?
I mean, we're not talking some bumfucking, Dixieland, Conway Twitty listening, hick, town borne of incest and beastiality.
Worse than this however, were some of the reactions I've gotten from the white girls I've dated.
One Duke University graduate told me once upon hearing I lost my virginity to a black girl…
'eww.. you're disgusting. Was her bush as nappy as her head?
When discovering my stash of porn, another girl said..
'My baby got back?? I think I'm going to puke.. black girls are so ugly.. gross'
Again.. these are New York women. Educated, supposedly elevated, Manhattan-ites.
When you think about all of this, the idea that America will cast its vote with Obama just seems more and more remote. To me, it feels like he's starting to fade, almost as if for a second, people got caught up in the media frenzy, and now have woken up next to a black man…. and they're afraid.
This is what's always haunted me about America.
Personally, I've always felt an innate connection to black people, and in general the 'black experience' in America. Maybe it was my 'outsider' status growing up, or the parallel 'Jewish' experience that was part of my heritage, or the fact that I was a musician that deeply loved so many of their great artists. Whatever the reason, I always felt this strong kinship. Now mind you, I'm human, and everyone has innate trepidation when it comes to 'the other', but I'm no racist.
That being said I'm also a realist, and I don't feel Americans have come all that far in these past 40 years. We're still the same shit kickers we always were. What people keep failing to realize, is that although the major media resides on both coasts, there's the states in-between, and those are the ones that will be voting.
I hope I'm wrong… for many reasons.
Mainly, if we vote in McCain our hatred of blacks will be exposed to the world like a cockroach in the naked electric light. Our standing in this new world order is already tenuous, and a McCain win would just cement the fact that we've become a major fucking joke.
Now, I don't like Obama… this is true. I find him grating, and the way he 'ahhhhhs' in between every word of his pontifications drives me nuts. I also find him an elitist, and the way his campaign ran against Hillary was shameful. That being said, the choice between him and McCain is a no-brainer. Anyone voting for McCain to me would be suspect of being a racist.
Do I think Obama has a chance at all?
I'm very dubious... I know America.
13 August
28 Things you may not know about me….
- I used to have a stuffed Snoopy when I was 11 – I called him ‘Mate’ and he talked with a cockney accent.
- I believed in Santa Claus ‘til I was 14.
- The first album I ever got was ‘The Stranger’ by Billy Joel.
- I’ve never been to England, but I kinda like the Beatles.
- The first time I’d ever been to Williamsburg was 4 years ago.
- I actually really love the Beatles.
- I lived briefly in a rented house with my band at the time – Spire Cranes – directly across the street from Rockland Psychiatric Center, in the summer we left the door open, and the day pass crazies would just wander into our living room.
- I have an impressive collection of bellbottoms and saddle shoes.
- When I was 8 years old I puked up New England Clam chowder I ate at Dunkin’ Donuts and to this day I still hate both New England Clam chowder and Dunkin’ Donuts.
- I went to the YMCA every night with my father when he got home from work, from 1980-1982, then we stopped going because of the AIDS.
- I think the best hot dog in NYC is the 72nd Street Gray’s Papaya.
- I’m a registered democrat.
- This might be the first year I don’t vote in a presidential election.
- I hate people that list Pabst Blue Ribbon as their favorite beer.
- I hate people that like things ‘ironically’.
- I hate people.
- At the beginning of the summer of my 16th year, I was 4 foot 11 inches tall and 196 pounds, by the winter I was 5 foot 7 and 118 pounds.
- I didn’t stop growing until I was 22 years old where I topped out at 6 foot tall.
- I had no real facial hair until I was 22.
- In the 4th grade I had a huge crush on Jill Bloom, one time on the line for the bus she spoke to me!! – to ask me if Luke Freeley still liked her. I can still feel that pain.
- Jill Bloom is a cunt.
- Secretly I still think I’m gonna make my mark.
- For one year in college every day I’d steal a pack of tic-tacs off the lunch line.
- I hate tic tacs – always have.
- Women with big tits and hairy arm pits are really angels from heaven sent down here to steal all my cheese.
- I believe porn, the lottery, and religion are all the same thing.
- I’ve read all the Hardy Boy books.
- That doesn’t make me a queer.
11 August
A few moments of peace...
This past weekend was uncharacteristically filled with activity.
Friday the mudflapper and I went downtown to see my friend's Pink Floyd cover band 'Us and Not Them' at Ace of Clubs on Great Jones Street. This place used to be called 'Under Acme' -as it's beneath Acme restaurant – and it's a place I myself have played many a time back in the 90s. I'll always associate it with this gig I played there back in 1994 when in the middle of the proceedings, the whole O.J., white bronco on the freeway broke out on the TV. The singer from the band that was on at the time kept yelling – 'RUN, OJ RUN!'.
Jeezus… might as well be a million years ago.
Before Us and Not Them took the stage, there was this other Zeppelin cover band called 'Led Blimpies'. I have to say, both bands were pretty decent. I've seen a few different Zep and Floyd cover bands in my time, and I'd rank these two amongst the best I've seen. That's not to say they were 'dead on', but both were exceedingly competent, and put on a good show. Cover bands in general leave me pretty cold, but for Zeppelin and Floyd, they seem to work sometimes. For instance, I fucking HATE Beatles cover bands, even if they're technically good. I just don't see any point whatsoever in a Beatles cover band. Their music to me just doesn't seem to conducive to that whole cover band gestalt.
Saturday was just one of those unique days where the clouds lift, and you're struck with an unexpected lucidity. One of those days that you remember, and moreover, you understand that you will remember it as it's happening. Unfortunately, all this clarity is heartbreakingly temporary, and soon the anxiety, self-doubt, and meaninglessness of it all starts to seep back into you consciousness, polluting your soul with it's toxic sludge. Still, it was beautiful while it lasted.
For a few precious moments I felt at peace.
8 August
The Last Police Concert Ever.
I went to see the Police last night at Madison Square Garden. It was their supposed FINAL concert ever. Normally I could never be induced to seeing any sort of live music – even an event of this 'historic' nature – but my brother got tickets, so I said, 'what the fuck' and came along.
The opening act was the B-52s who were pretty lame. I didn't recognize any of their songs other than their 3 hits – 'Roam', 'Love shack' and 'Rock Lobster'. The crowd response to them was pretty muted, and I found them tiresome. What's the deal with Fred Schneider anyway? He serves no purpose other than to be annoying. In fact, I feel his greatest accomplishment in life has been to become a 'qualifier' when one needs to describe an irritating asshole who serves no purpose, as is…'Oh yeah, that guy is the FRED SCHNEIDER of…so and so..'.
The Police took the stage and opened with 'Sunshine of your love' by Creem, and then proceeded to plow through about 15 of their mega hits. Sting's voice sounded great, and Andy and Stewart were definitely 'on' as well. It was amazing to think how difficult it is to have even ONE hit, and Sting's had like 2 million, especially if you include all his solo stuff. What's even more fascinating about all of that is, although I really LIKE the Police – especially when I was a kid – I don't think I ever LOVED them. It's strange, because they definitely deserve adoration. I mean, jesus it's all there – cool vibe, TERRIFIC songs, incredible musicianship.. why then have I always considered them semi-lightweight?
At the end of the show, Sting went backstage and had his beard shaved by a couple of blonde bimbos which was pretty entertaining. They showed it all going on some big jumbo screen. I don't know if it's just my weary state of mind, a general sense of 'over-ness' when it comes to the totality of everything, but I felt it was all a bit tired. I could swear that the crowd was a bit tired as well, as although their response was generally enthusiastic, it wasn't THAT enthusiastic. I mean, this was their LAST show – supposedly – and everyone just seemed…limp. Could this perception be my own shit colored glasses speaking, or is it something more significant?
Anyway, after the shave Sting and the guys came back on and played a few more songs and said their goodbyes. The final end note was this bizarre opera troop that came on and sang a few bars of Mozart – I think it was – and then the last notes of Warner Brothers 'Silly Symphonies' blared through the speakers punctuated by Porky's 'Th-th-th-that's all folks!'. I found it a bit of a disturbing, and somewhat callous final note, but whatever.
It took us about a half hour to exit the place due to the crowd, and as we hit the streets I felt a bit peckish. Ans suggested White Castle, which I readily agreed with. We ordered some burgs and chicken rings, and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Of course as no moment can ever be completely stress-free, some weirdo homeless dude came in and bothered my brother, asking him to give him some food. That ruined my brother's appetite, but not mine. It was all fresh and hot, and delicious, and I wasn't about to let anyone rain on that parade.
On the drive home I felt down. I remember being a kid when the Police were the biggest band in the world. They were the biggest amongst HUGE artists of redonkulous talents. I mean, I didn't really appreciate them back then, but Prince, U2, Springsteen, etc.. these were powerhouses. As our cab passed Bryant Park I noticed it was literally JAM packed with young girls – completely filled to capacity. I rolled down the window and yelled out, 'What's this for?' about a dozen coltish voices whinnied back – 'THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!'
I'm officially old, and the world just keeps crashing down around my ears. Everything's just become one prolonged hi pitched signal, the kind that used to come on TV late at night, after the last few notes of the national anthem buzzed about your drowsy brain.